The streetlights keep our faces warm

[blondiE]

You and I should discuss how people work.

Let's not discuss your lung or liver.
Perhaps we will whisper about your heart,
Argue about your brain,
But I couldn't give less of a damn about your liver.

Likewise, we obviously shouldn't chat about your lungs,
Seeing as your pack-a-day is the only thing that gets near them.



I'd like to think we could talk about emotion.
The raw, sheilded vessel tucked deep inside of you that is, in my view, found nowhere near your liver.
Or, in that matter, your charred lungs.



I must be wrong in it's location,
because simply, yours is nowhere to be found.



Although, in my view, things are certainly percieved differently.
As though I watch the world from the other end of your vodka bottle.
I'd always wished to see a ship inside.

Too bad your whiskey never mixed well with the sea.




Anyway,
About how people work.


I'd like to see the pandamonium that circulates behind those glassy eyes of yours.
Its madness really, I can feel it pulsing behind your temples.

I've mastered how to contain it.
Casually, at my own expense.


Life is never fair.




But you already know that.
What else would drive you to the tight, tense, creature you've become?


It certainly wasn't me.










It's funny how the devil deals his cards.
You and I, we own half the stack.

[Calliope]

I really enjoyed this! Doesn't it belong in poetry? It reads like a poem to me. But anyway, very good - I especially liked

'Let's not discuss your lung or liver.
Perhaps we will whisper about your heart,
Argue about your brain,
But I couldn't give less of a damn about your liver.'

Only prob I could find with the piece is that this line doesn't make sense:

'I'd like to think we could talking about emotion.'

[moth]

I'd like to see the pandamonium that circulates behind those glassy eyes of yours.
Its madness really, I can feel it pulsing behind those temples of yours.

^Repitition of 'of yours' here.
Love this image-

As though I watch the world from the other end of your vodka bottle.

[Isis]

Welcome back, and what a piece to come back with. I like how the denial of liver and lungs sort of gives them power, since those are getting ruined; if this person has their emotions gone, or ruined, maybe this is where they were?

Although, in my view, things are certainly percieved differently.
As though I watch the world from the other end of your vodka bottle.
I'd always wished to see a ship inside.

Too bad your whiskey never mixed well with the sea.

This whole part is excellent, though I'd cut "certainly" from the first line. The repetition of 'ly' sounds is awkward, and the sentence reads more smoothly without it.

[blondiE]

Calliop- I'm not sure what genre something like this belongs in, but its a huge compliment to have it compared to poetry.
The line you mentioned was a typing error, and I edited it out.

espionette- Your absolutely right about the repitionion, I fixed it.

Isis- Thank you. This was really a ramble; I wrote it last night to vent. I wrote it in hopes of it being interperated many different ways.


Thank youuuu guys :]

[wanderlust01]

>>>As though I watch the world from the other end of your vodka bottle.
I'd always wished to see a ship inside.

This line is so wonderfully profound.great work!