Venice Journal Entry

[Wanderer]

I'm lying in the gondola, listening to the soft long strokes of the paddle stirring the water like a long kiss. My eyes are open, but my ears are closed to distant murmurs of family. I only hear sounds whose story I dont know. Beautiful italian voices on the television, then hoarse shouting. Gentle, melodic, clinks of glass from a far away resturaunt; then a wild shattering. We're free from any crowds of the fanny packed sort of tourists that ruin my romantic visions. Long gone are crowds of older, lichor filled teenagers, sprawled on top of each other tediously like a card house.

It's night and like a cliche i think how beautiful the stars I can see are. We're floating past wash hung out precariously over the canals, sides of houses kept clean and garlanded in red flowers for the sake of beauty. I see a window, with light in the back from a large chandelier and then the shadow of a woman smoking by the drapes. Slinky, glamorous Pink Panther like music plays. One day I'll be a sophisticated image at a party like that. Eventually I'm being guided back into wakefullness but even as we pass under the famous bridge and leave I know I'm still in dreamland.
-ana, age 13, Italy
this is one of my journal entries which i write in a sort of free, poetic style. therefore i don't pay much attention to sentince fragments.

[*Indigo Fox 33*]

Me being the Italian I am (well half) love the setting of course. I also adore how you keep everything very simple and realistic, but you still take the reader to another place which I find sweetly refreshing

[Wanderer]

well thank you. im less than a fourth italian but of course i still enjoyed italy immensly...though such a change from the netherlands (im dutch!)

[*Indigo Fox 33*]

aww lucky I wish I could go to Italy (well someday i guess...) I still have reletives there, but I've only met a few of them.
What's it like in the Netherlands??

[Wanderer]

Originally Posted by *Indigo Fox 33*

aww lucky I wish I could go to Italy (well someday i guess...) I still have reletives there, but I've only met a few of them.
What's it like in the Netherlands??

The Netherlands is amazingly cozy and its my second home. I love the dunes, the woods, all the little legends....its a very poetic place because its not quite perfect or overtly stunning but i can find beauty in it.

[Calliope]

There are some really beautiful images in this; I particularly liked 'sprawled on top of each other tediously like a card house'. The only thing that jarred with me was 'then a wild shattering' - I didn't really get what might be shattering, and it didn't seem peaceful like the rest. Overall though, I really think this is lovely. Good job.

[honeebee]

i think it is very well written

[veniceitaly]

Originally Posted by Wanderer

The Netherlands is amazingly cozy and its my second home. I love the dunes, the woods, all the little legends....its a very poetic place because its not quite perfect or overtly stunning but i can find beauty in it.

Ive only been in Amsteredam and somewhere in the country side in colourful and perfumed May... where are those sandy beaches with dunes exactly? I would like to visit those places...

[Adri]

Just a couple of grammer issues.

Originally Posted by Wanderer

I'm lying in the gondola, listening to the soft long strokes of the paddle stirring the water like a long kiss. My eyes are open, but my ears are closed to add "the" distant murmurs of family. I only hear sounds whose story I dont know. Beautiful italian voices on the television, then hoarse shouting. Gentle, melodic, clinks of glass from a far away resturaunt; then a wild shattering. We're free from any crowds of the fanny packed sort of tourists that ruin my romantic visions. Long gone are crowds of older, lichor liquor*filled teenagers, sprawled on top of each other tediously like a card house.

It's night and like a cliche I think how beautiful the stars I can see are. We're floating past wash hung out precariously over the canals, sides of houses kept clean and garlanded<real word? in red flowers for the sake of beauty. I see a window, with light in the back from a large chandelier and then the shadow of a woman smoking by the drapes. Slinky, glamorous Pink Panther like music plays. One day I'll be a sophisticated image at a party like that. Eventually I'm being guided back into wakefullness but even as we pass under the famous bridge and leave I know I'm still in dreamland.
-ana, age 13, Italy
this is one of my journal entries which i write in a sort of free, poetic style. therefore i don't pay much attention to sentince fragments.

Pretty
(I can't stand grammer issues. Had to fix them. )
My script has two girls in it that came from Italy.