Help!!!!!

[KittyKatTina2007]

I need words of sarcasm!! I have to write a story for my class using a lot of sarcasm

[kips]

Say what now? *Settles in Ann Widecombe seat* Explain the work...

[KittyKatTina2007]

I have to write a story in first person, but the story has to include lots of sarcasm.

that is the only thing the teacher said. So, I need help with finding sarcastic sayings.

[kips]

Hehe, you ever read the catcher in the rye? Anyways, it shouldn't be too hard. try to be original, make up your own sarcasm. Think of a main character would be how I'd do it, and then work from there. The charachter would be like the dud eform the catcher in the rye, for me, full of musings about the world and sarcasm. make sense?

[Imelda]

Sarcasm is terribly difficult. It's the most complex of all ways to poke fun at people.

^Sarcasm. It's easy. :D

[kips]

Hehe... I recently worked out tongue-in-cheek properly and now i speak to everyone that way *looks menacing*

[Imelda]

Oh dear. Kips is being menacing. We'd all better run for our lives, because we know how scary she is. :rolleyes:

[kips]

*puts on a flat cap and captain-hook-hand* Arrr! 'Tis true! Take note of Meldi's perfectly serious warning! :p

[Imelda]

You're a pirate too? Yay! What's your pirate name? :D I'm Cap'in Maaaad Ann Bonney, the swashbuckling-est swashbuckler since Long John Silver! Yar! ;)

[kips]

*stares* You expect me to think of a name?

[Imelda]

No, I expect you to take the test at www.piratequiz.com ... I think.

[kips]

Black Harry Bonney

How's that then?

[Imelda]

OMC WE'RE RELATED! :eek:

[Night]

I'm very sarcastic, but I don't know if I could help you.... It all depends on what is said for me.... Like, in the second novel I'm working on, one of the characters says, "You took my bed", the main character responded, “Sorry, having all three beds covered in clothes must have thrown me off. How about I take this bed and you shut up?” I'm kinda lame, but yeah....

[kips]

OMC WE'RE RELATED! :eek:

:eek: Think you could be my mum or something?!? :p

[Imelda]

:eek: Think you could be my mum or something?!? :p

MUM?! :mad:

I was thinking, like ... cool aunt or something. :(

[kips]

Hehe.... :D I need a new mum anyways... :o

But ya know, you could be an aunt if you want... but then you'd have my mother for a sister...

[thecritic]

Your pirate name is:
Dirty Tom Kidd

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

That's appalling.

-----------------

Sarcasm is easy peasy. Especially if you're English. Americans tend to be a bit less sarcastic. Just think bitching. :D

[Night]

Hey!!!! I'm American and I'm very sarcastic!!!!

[Imelda]

You need a new mum? Well I don't think I'm quite ready for that. Although I am Vnt's pregnancy cyber-buddy, so I'll be ready in 8 months. :p

[kips]

*laughs hysterically* That's just the kind of thing I would find funny... *giggles*

[Imelda]

Your pirate name is:
Dirty Tom Kidd

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

That's appalling.

-----------------

Sarcasm is easy peasy. Especially if you're English. Americans tend to be a bit less sarcastic. Just think bitching. :D

Dirty Tom Kidd, eh? You're related to Spikey! :eek: Scary ...

[thecritic]

I've been related to Spikey for ages. We're half-brothers. Remember? :D

:O That was in the Valentine's Day thread! A whole year ago! I have to make a new one!

[kips]

:eek: I hate not knowing stuff! :mad:

[Imelda]

You're half-brothers? I didn't know that. :rolleyes:

Kipsy, what don't you know?

[kips]

Grrr... never mind. I'm just getting hysterical... :D

[Night]

I take offensive to this!!!!
-------------------------------------------
Dirty Morgan Flint

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

[kips]

*prods with long stick* You're all gross like Ben!

[Imelda]

Me and Kipsy smell good. *Superior smile*

[kips]

*puts a bar of soap on the end of the stick* Wanna try this Night? *malicious giggling*

[Imelda]

Hey Kips, wanna be my first mate?

[kips]

Hey... how come's you're a captain and I'm a first mate *looks mutinous*

[Imelda]

Because:

1--I'm Captain Mad Ann Bonney.

2--I'm older than you. And I'm possibly your mother. :rolleyes:

3--I'm bossier than you are.

4--I bought the ship.

5--My hat is cooler than your hat.

Happy? :D

[kips]

Yes Miss... *continues to look mutinous, only far quieter now*

But... if you dont mind me asking... why do you get a better hat?

[Imelda]

Because:

1--I can afford a better one.

2--I'm not a hat person, so I had to get an amazing one to make up for it.

3--I'm the captain. Of course I have a better hat! :rolleyes:

[kips]

Hmmm... *gets totally stuck on the last one* Righto... But then... if the hat makes you... and then it's cause.... *looks tearful* I'll just believe you.

AND ARE YOU TRYIN' TO SAY I'M POOR? *cough, binbags, cough*

[Imelda]

No. But I am saying that you're not as rich as me. :p

[kips]

*gets stuck on that one too* Sigh... being thick can be so painful sometimes.

[Imelda]

You're not thick. :rolleyes: Why did that confuse you? :confused:

[kips]

I don't even know; I'm too thick so work it out. *giggles insanely*

[Imelda]

Ok. Good. *Backs away*

You're not insane at all!

^Sarcasm.

[kips]

Tongue-in-cheek is better! :p *follows Meldi* Where ya going?

[Imelda]

Away from you! :eek:

*Runs*

*Gets tired*

*Slows down*

*Staggers*

*Collapses into nearest chair*

[kips]

OI! That's my John Reid chair!!!! *sits on the floor* Sigh... am i that bad? :(

[Night]

Hey!!!! Be nice to me!!!! I'm very clean, thank you!!!! The site just doesn't like me....