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Saint Fawkes
05-28-2007, 02:54 AM
Thuis is one of my eariler scripts, about a jail break. Pleas eread, or Ill be insecure and nurotic.

This is the first part:
_

Blackness; a low beeping is barely audible. It becomes louder as we fade in to a digital clock, counting down from four minutes. The beeping continues through the rest of the scene in the background.

Cut to several men who appear to be masked running in a darkened area. Their running footsteps seem to drown out their voices, which are extremely low.

We cut to a largish building (subtitle: Los Angeles, 1994), very still and quiet in the middle of the night. A moment passes, and then the beeping abruptly ends. A split second later an explosion erupts in one of the building’s lower floors, the light washing out everything. Fade to white as we hear yelling (“Freeze,” “Stay where you are,” that kind of thing) and several gunshots.

The final, solitary gunshot becomes the grinding of an opening metal door as we cut to:

Subtitle: San Quentin Penitentiary

Pause, then that fades out to:

Subtitle: Ten years later

C.O. Bob Cooper is walking down the cellblock, yelling at the prisoners as they walk out of their cells and head toward the courtyard.

COOPER: Wake up, apes, yard time! Don’t do anything exceptionally stupid!

We follow Dante as he walks slowly along the cellblock toward the exit to the yard. He lets the other convicts push past him and is the last into the courtyard. He briefly looks around and then heads over to the wall, leans against it, and waits.

A moment later he hears an eruption of yelling across the courtyard. Cut to:

CONVICT A: Get the hell off me!

Holden has him in a headlock from behind and the convict is struggling to get free. Holden won’t let go, but doesn’t appear to be actively choking the convict either. The man in the guard tower over the courtyard sees them fighting and starts yelling.

GUARD A: Let him go, Convict! I’m warning you!

Holden looks up at the guard, grins at him, and tightens his grip on the convict’s neck. It is unclear whether the convict is dead or unconscious (well, between you and me he’s dead as a doornail, but nobody knows that right now), but he goes limp and collapses as Holden lets him go.

GUARD A (into walkie-talkie): Back up to the courtyard, now!

He tosses a tear-gas grenade into the courtyard. It explodes as it lands by Holden, surrounding him in a cloud of gas. He starts coughing as more guards run into the courtyard with nightsticks.

HOLDEN (gasping through tears): I surrender, I surrender!

The guards seem less than interested and beat him anyway until he goes limp. Then they pick him up and start hauling him back inside. Dante, still by the wall of the yard, follows Holden with his eyes as they lead him out. Holden opens his eyes and winks at him as they take him out of sight.

Cut to darkness for a moment until a door opens, revealing that we are actually in a solitary confinement cell. The guards toss Holden unceremoniously into the cell and turn, letting the door fall closed...

…or so they think. Holden, still conscious, pulls a wooden wedge from his pants and slides it along the wall. It slips into the cell’s doorway at the last second, keeping the door from completely closing. In the tiny amount of light still leaking in, we see Holden smile with satisfaction and sit down, leaning back against the wall.

Flashback (indicated by fuzzy and overly bright view) shows Dante carving the wedge in the prison’s woodshop.

Cut to outside shot of San Quentin. It nighttime now, the sun just having set.

Cut to Dante’s cell. Dante is sitting inside on his bed reading calmly. A guard is walking up and down the cellblock doing a headcount. We zoom out through the bars of Dante’s cell, showing the cell next to his, presumably Holden’s, is empty. The guard, who apparently knows Holden is in solitary, takes no notice, continuing on his patrol.

Cut to solitary confinement, where Holden is cautiously pulling open the door of his cell. He slips cautiously out and draws a wood carving knife.

Flashback to: Holden and Dante in woodshop. Holden discreetly breaks off the end of a metal ruler and slips it into his back pocket. He carefully slides the same carving knife up his sleeve. Dante heads through the metal detector out of the shop, passes the guards, and waits calmly at the other side. Holden walks through the metal detector and it blares loudly. Quick Tarentino-style close up of his hand as he slips the knife out, lets it fall quietly to the floor, and kicks it across the floor to Dante as the guards grab him. They search him and quickly find the piece of the ruler, take it back to the shop, and send Dante and Holden on their way. Dante discreetly hands Holden the knife as they walk out.

Back to the present as Holden creeps through the silent prison. He appears to know exactly where he’s going. His mouth moves as he walks; he appears to be counting seconds.

Same hallway, different angle, guard walking along (down hall toward camera), bored out of his mind. He pauses close to the camera, seeming to have heard something, and turns. We turn with him, staying on his face as he turns 180 degrees and looks around. He shrugs it off as nothing…

…just as Holden silently rises up behind him and raises the knife in a downward grip.

Cut to Dante again, sitting in his cell and still reading. He looks up as he hears repeated gunshots in the distance and smiles. He sets his book on his cot and stands up.

Saint Fawkes
05-31-2007, 07:19 PM
Cut back to Holden. He’s standing in the middle of the central security booth. There are three or four guards with gunshot wounds lying around him, presumably dead, plus one more lying right next to him with his throat cut (that one’s definitely dead).

Approaching the control panels, Holden dramatically flexes his fingers, scans the panels, and starts pulling every largish switch he can see.

HOLDEN (to himself, smirking): Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Cut again to Dante as the cell doors open and he calmly walks around. As he and Holden predicted, the other convicts are freaking out, digging out their shivs, and running off to kill and/or maim as many of the guards as they can. Dante, on the other hand, sets off with a sense of purpose, which is to track down…

…Holden, who is meanwhile leaving the security booth to find Dante. Holden has just opened every single cell in San Quentin, so the place is pretty much a nuthouse. Convicts are cursing and yelling and fighting and stabbing; while the guards are cursing and yelling and beating and shooting.

We also get a shot of C.O. Cooper (Remember him? He called everybody apes about three pages ago?), trusty semi-auto in hand, shooting his way through the crowd of convicts. Earlier he just seemed like a jerk, but now we see how badass he truly is as he moves slowly but surely toward wherever he’s headed.

DANTE (yelling): Holden!

Cut to Holden and Dante finally finding each other in the melee.

DANTE: You all right?

HOLDEN: Yeah, I’m just peachy, can we get the hell out of here?

Dante nods and take off.

Meanwhile, Cooper reaches Holden and Dante’s cells (you can tell because of the book on Dante’s bed) and sees them open and empty.

COOPER: Dammit!

Cut to Holden and Dante entering a garage, where a truck is sitting. The back is open and it’s only been partly unloaded. From the contents of the trailer it’s obviously a laundry truck; presumably it was being unloaded when the riot broke out. The delivery guys are probably not so glad about this, but Holden and Dante are pretty pleased with themselves.

HOLDEN: You sure this is gonna work?

DANTE: I used to be a truck driver, remember? Nobody takes the keys out when they’re unloading.

They both reach the cab and climb in; Dante driving and Holden riding shotgun. Dante reaches for the keys and finds that, in fact, somebody does take the keys out when they’re unloading.

Long pause as both stare at the place where the key should be.

DANTE: Huh.

Cut to outside shot of San Quentin. Riot squads and SWAT teams are pulling up to deal with the riot.

Back inside the prison, Cooper is still blasting his way through convicts. He seems to be heading the same direction Holden and Dante were earlier: toward the garage.

Annnnnnd now we’re back with Holden and Dante. Holden hands Dante the gun, drawing his knife.

HOLDEN: Make sure no one’s coming. I’m gonna try to hotwire it.

DANTE: You’re just packed with useful skills, aren’t you?

He climbs out of the truck, the gun hanging by his thigh in his right hand.

Back in the cab, Holden is playing with some wires, doing whatever it is you’re supposed to do to hotwire a car.

Dante turns toward the cab as the engine comes on.

HOLDEN: Got it!

Dante starts toward the cab, but a bullet hits right next to his foot, stopping him in his tracks.

COOPER: Freeze! (Dante does so) Toss your gun. (Dante tosses the gun forward toward the cab) I meant to me, dumbass.

DANTE: Sorry. I haven’t been arrested in a while, might be a bit rusty.

COOPER: Don’t be a smartass. Smartasses make me angry. (He starts moving closer to Dante) You have the right to—

Holden drops out of the passenger seat of the cab, snatches Dante’s gun off the ground where it fell, and shoots Cooper. Close-up as the bullet cuts across Cooper’s thigh. Cooper goes down, his gun clattering away.

DANTE: Nice shot.

HOLDEN: I was aiming for his head. (He walks toward Cooper, who’s clutching his leg in pain. He says warningly) I won’t miss again.

DANTE (heading back toward the cab): Yeah, grab him. We maybe could use a hostage.

Judging from his expression Holden had other plans for Cooper, but Dante misses that particular expression. Holden considers, shrugs, and then picks Cooper up and hauls him up the cab.

Cut to a guard tower, where a really really really big guard is beating the crap out of a couple of convicts with his sniper rifle. As he drops the last one he hears the truck and turns out of the tower. He looks down the scope of the rifle. We see through the scope as he tries to get a shot on the driver seat. Close up of the sniper’s finger as he pulls the trigger. The gun goes off.

ADH093
06-15-2007, 06:22 AM
Wow, this one's real popular, isn't it?

MHD
06-15-2007, 11:06 AM
cool! i got really stuck on the story! keep going! :)

ADH093
06-25-2007, 09:12 PM
Mac! Where are you?

anonymoose
07-05-2007, 08:56 PM
Nice! A little short on speech in places but still good

Saint Fawkes
07-05-2007, 09:34 PM
All right, readers!

Paul
10-14-2007, 03:38 AM
Agh I think the whole putting everything in italics got me dizzy @.@
Otherwords, I liked it.